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Once, in junior high, I was serenaded by my physical education class – comprised of both eighth and seventh graders – with chants of “Dud fats! I was an awkward youth, shy and terrified of dating and other social conventions.
But by the end of my sophomore year in college, which was my first year away from home, I had gained additional weight, mostly by consuming comfort foods, like chocolate milk with every meal, which felt like a way of soothing myself.
I returned home after that year, and, determined to get into shape, I worked all summer in the potato sheds of Kern County (CA), loading trucks and boxcars.
But being the oldest child in a very conservative family (we were Southern Baptists and Republicans), I chose to deny my authenticity and live the life everyone else wanted me to live. In high school, I was one of the largest kids in school, so naturally I was expected to play football.
But I preferred playing French horn in the band, and, instead, joined the swim team, where I was called “Moby Buddha” for my girth and round belly.
I am looking to communicate with other adults who have developed eating disorders only in their adult years.
I am 34 and developed my issues when I was about 31-32.
I am trying to get myself to increase my intake, but it is difficult.
I am not hungry and I try to eat healthfully, so I refuse eat some products I would just like to reach out to someone who is in a similar life position as I am, since I do not feel I have much in common with adolescent anorexic sufferers.
As you would imagine, I returned to my highest weight again in no time!
My body was taking a beating with all this yo-yoing.
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