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Which is why I take it seriously when she sits me down for a talking-to. “While I was gone, did you have anybody over the house? And they weren’t mine.” Nothing registered on my face. But since I found the underwear this afternoon, I’ve racked my brain and can’t come up with any explanation for how another pair of panties ended up in our new hamper.” “So,” she continues with tears in her eyes, “Is there anything you need to tell me?

She leads by saying, “Do you have anything you need to tell me? ” I’m not sure if I should start laughing, or start crying.

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I’m going to hijack this post here, to share a very personal story that just happened to me.

I asked my wife’s permission to share it, because it is a little, well, personal.

It was during this process that she took a business trip to Costa Rica for a week.

While she was gone, she checked in almost every day, and I went out almost every night to catch up with friends and fill up my time. We both work from home and settled back into our routines.

And now she has a smoking gun, which I have no capacity to explain.

I continue: “I’m really upset right now, because I want to take away your pain and concern, but I have no way to do so. I can show you my phone calls, my text messages, my emails. But I also have no way of explaining what happened. Could it be her friend, who spent the night with us on New Years and hooked up with a guy?Marriage is stressful, house-hunting is stressful, moving is stressful, moving in with someone else is stressful, merging lives and households is stressful. So let there be no confusion when I say that I had a pretty difficult January.The basis of my relationship with my wife is how easy and trusting we are, and yet we got on each others’ nerves more than ever recently.If some woman wrote to me on my blog and said that a pair of panties appeared in her boyfriend’s house while she was out of town, I’d tell her to get her head out of her ass and leave him. Unlikely that she’d leave the house without her underwear and that said underwear would linger for three weeks without being put in a hamper.Could it be her co-worker, who roomed with her in Costa Rica? Could it be some old fling of mine from over two years ago?But who has access to our place besides our landlord who lives upstairs?

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