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And if you don’t know your values, how can you expect your partner to have a clue?

In marriage you begin to rub off on each other, subtly taking on traits and characteristics of the other.

Does this thought excite you or does it make you feel like you just digested a can of the before mentioned Play-Doh? And you need to have your own identity beyond your spouse. If you don’t want to become like the person you’re dating, should you be dating?

If you can just get your hair, abs, complexion, and clothes just right, then The One will scamper to you like a squirrel to a nut factory. Sure appearance might catch someone’s eye, but it’s personality, values, faith, heart, past, present, and future that’s going to make them stay.

Your petals might be beautiful, but if you don’t have any nectar then the bees are just going to fly away. It can prop up an intimacy that has no foundation to sustain it.

Too many marriages start (and end) with vague and un-identified core values. Or are you constantly trying to hide who you are because they want you to be someone you’re not?

Are you fitting and conforming to some abstract idea of what you think they want?

A spouse should be like a gold miner, going under the surface to uncover the invaluable stuff underneath.

Is the person you’re dating like a magnet trying to bring the best of you to the surface?

I’d describe core values as beliefs that are fundamental to how you are wired, guiding your actions, thoughts, plans, and purpose on this earth.

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